Kugira umukunzi ntibigomba kubangamira ibihe byiza n 'inshuti zawe magara

Iyo umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa abonye uwo yita umukunzi, ibintu byinshi mu buzima bwe birahinduka, ariko byose ntibihinduka mu buryo bwiza (Positif). Urugero ni uko umuntu atangira guha akanya gato inshuti ze zisanzwe, ugasanga ntibagihura ngo baganire kandi biba bikenewe. Hari n’igihe yewe utandukana n’uwo witaga umukunzi, wazareba ugasanga inshuti zawe zagushizeho, kandi ari wowe wabyiteye.

Aha ntibivuze ko ugomba kuba ingaruzwamuheto y’inshuti zawe, ahubwo mu buzima bwawe ni byiza ko ushaka n’izindi nshuti nshya, kuko izo usanganywe zishobora no kukubera ikibazo mu nzira yawe yo gutera imbere (nzabigarukaho mu yindi nkuru). Ariko nanone iyo ugiye kure y’inshuti zawe uba witesheje ibihe byiza mwagiranaga, inama bakugiraga cyangwa izo wowe wabagiraga, n’indi mishinga mwari mufitanye.

Uubushakashatsi bwakozwe n’abahanga bo muri Kaminuza ya Oxford bwerekanye ko niba usanzwe ufite inshuti 5 za hafi (abajama) nyuma ukazahura n’umukunzi, nyuma y’igihe gito usanga ufite inshuti 4, kandi harimo na wa mukunzi. Ni ukuvuga ko uba usigaranye inshuti magara 3 kongeraho umukunzi, izindi 2 ziba zarakuvuyeho. Biterwa n’iki rero?

Hari igihe wibwira ko ugomba kwereka umukunzi wawe ko umukunda n’umutima wawe wose, ko akurutira byose na bose. Mu nkuru nigeze kandika yitwa Ni gute wabona inshuti y’umuhungu cyangwa y’umukobwa?(kanda hano uyisome) nabwiraga abantu ko iyo uri umusore ufite inshuti nyinshi zishoboka, abakobwa babona ko wibitsemo ubukungu kuko uba werekanye ko ufitanye umubano mwiza n’abandi; ibyo ni nako bimeze ku bakobwa. Gusa niba utangiye wereka umuntu ko uri cool ku bantu bose akazagera aho akagukunda, nuhindura imyitwarire ntibizaba ari byiza kuko uzaba ukuyeho icyatumye akwemera bwa mbere. Ni hahandi nimujya gutandukana azakubwira ati “mbere wari umwana mwiza, none warahindutse.”

Ibyiza rero ni uko wakomeza gukora ibyo wakoraga utarahura n’uwo mukunzi. Niba uri umunyeshuri, komeza wige, nturangare. Nutangira gukwepa amasomo ngo ujye guhura nawe uzaba umuha ishusho (image) y’umuntu utari serious, utubahiriza inshingano. Niba ufite akazi, gakore neza nk’uko wari usanzwe ugakora, cyangwa wongereho; kudomoka ugiye kumureba ushobora gukeka ko bizamwereka ko umukunda, kandi ahubwo uba werekana ko udaha agaciro ibintu bya ngombwa mu buzima bwawe.

Niba ufite inshuti zawe, komeza uzigenere igihe cyazo. Birumvikana ko nugira umukunzi icyo gihe kizagabanuka. Niba uri umuselibateri, nuramuka urushinze uzajya uhura n’inshuti zawe igihe gito, ariko ntibiguha uburenganzira bwo kudahura nazo. Niba uri inkumi, birumvikana ko igihe uzarongorwa ukabyara uzabura igihe cyo kuvugana n’inshuti zawe, yewe n’igihe wamaranaga n’umugabo kizagabanuka kandi mubana! Ariko menya ko ufite obligation ku kazi, amasomo, umugabo/umugore wawe ndetse n’inshuti zawe.

Kimwe mu bintu bituma inshuti zawe zidashyigikira umukunzi wawe harimo n’uburyo umwitwaraho. Niba wicaranye n’abandi basore munywa buri wese icyo ashoboye, mwateganyije ko muri bube muri hamwe igihe kinini gishoboka, hashira iminota 30 ukigendera ngo ugiye guhura n’umukunzi bizatuma babishyiramo mwembi, ntibamubone neza… Niba wicaranye n’inshuti zawe muganira, wowe urangaye uri gucatinga (chat) nawe kuri internet yo kuri phone, cyangwa mwandikirana sms (dore ko bisigaye bihendutse kubi), cyangwa ukabibeta ukajya kuvugana nawe iminota 40 kuri telefoni, ntiwibwire ko inshuti zawe zizashyigikira iyo relationship. Bazakureka wibereho, nibabona ugiye kugwa mu ruzi urwita ikiziba bakureke, bazakurohore wamaze gusoma nka kabiri, kuko uzaba nawe wabahaye agaciro gake.

Isomo wakuramo rero nta rindi uretse kugira gahunda kandi ukazubahiriza. Niba wageneye igihe inshuti zawe magara, zubahe. Umukunzi naguhamagara umwitabe muvugane igihe gito, umubwire ko hari abantu muri kumwe, azabyumva. Natabyumva ikibazo ntikizaba kiri kuri wowe… Genera umukunzi igihe cye, n’inshuti zawe uzigenere igihe cyazo.