Ni gute warambana n 'umukunzi wawe? Sobanukirwa

Hari abantu benshi bahora bibona nk’aho batajya bagira amahirwe mu rukundo, igihe cyose bakundanye ntibimare kabiri! ndetse bamwe batangira kugira abo bahimbira ko babatera umwaku kandi byahe biragatabwa.

Tuzi twese ko kugira ngo urukundo rw’abantu babiri bakundana (ndavuga umusore n’inkumi) rurambe kandi rukomere, habamo ubufasha bw’Imana ariko na none natwe tugomba kugira uruhare mu burambe bw’urukundo rwacu, ibyo rero bihera ku buryo usanzwe ubana n’abantu, ariko na kamere usanganywe iba ifite uruhare runini ku mahirwe make cyangwa menshi uzagira mu rukundo rwawe n’umusore cyangwa inkumi.

Ubushize naberetse uburyo umukobwa ashobora kubwira cyangwa kwereka umusore ko amukeneyeho urukundo, ubu noneho ngiye kubagira inama 7 z’uburyo urukundo rwawe rushobora kuramba ukava mu guhora umarana n’inshuti amezi abiri gusa waba uri umukobwa cyangwa umusore.

1. Kuva mu rukundo rw’umuriro ugurumana ukajya ku rukundo rutuje kandi rufite gahunda nziza

Iyo mugitangira gukundana muba mwumva mufite urukundo rufite ibirimi by’umuriro, mutwika ikibakozeho cyose! mbese hamwe wumva mugenzi wawe nta kindi yakora uretse kukwicara iruhande, urwo rukundo ruramutse rukomeje gutyo ntirwaramba cyane. Gukunda bimara igihe, bisaba kumenya kugenda uva kuri iryo tanura mu mezi ya mbere ugenda uganisha ku rukundo rushyira mu gaciro kandi rutagambiriye kwiyamamaza, ha handi buri wese aba atangiye kumva no kwemera ko atandukanye na mugenzi we kandi akubaha iryo tandukaniro kuko abantu badashobora gutera kimwe. Muri make ugomba gukunda mugenzi wawe uko ateye kose atari ukumukundira gusa kuza kuzuza ibyo ubuze wamara kubibona ukamutera ishoti !

2. Rekera aho kumva ko mu rukundo rwa mwembi inyungu zawe ari zo zigomba kubanza

Kugira ngo mwizere uburambe bw’urukundo rwanyu, mugomba kugenda murema buhoro buhoro imibanire ya couple ntangarugero, aho umwe agira uburyo abyitwaramo ariko undi na we agasanga yiyumvamo ubwo buryo bwa mugenzi we. Mbese ugakunda uwo mubano wanyu nk’uko ukunda mugenzi wawe cyangwa wikunda nawe ubwawe.

3. Emera Kwishyira ukizana kwa mugenzi wawe (liberté)

Nyabuneka emera ko mugenzi wawe umumenye akuze kandi ko aho yinyujije hose utari uri kumwe na we. Igihe mumaze mukundana rero wishaka noneho kumuzirika ngo umuheze umwuka ntutume akomeza gusabana n’inshuti ze bashobora kuba barananyuranye mu bundi buzima bukomeye utazi. Igihe utangiye gushaka ko avugana cyangwa agendana n’abo uzi cyangwa ushaka gusa, ndakurahiye urwo rukundo ushaka ni wowe urimo kuruniga! Ha mugenzi wawe icyizere, na we niba agukunda ntazaguhemukira kandi na we ni mukuru azi ubwenge.

4. Ganira bitomoye na mugenzi wawe (communication claire)

Gukunda mugenzi wawe ntibivuze ko wowe wiyanga, ni ngombwa ko uganiriza umukunzi wawe ugaragaza udaciye ku ruhande ibyifuzo byawe, ibyiyumviro, kandi ukirinda kuvangira imibanire ye n’abandi (aha ntibivuze ko utamucyebura igihe atangiye kurengera ariko na bwo ukabikora mu kinyabupfura). Iyo kandi ni inzira nziza yo gufasha umukunzi wawe kumenya aho uhagaze n’urwego ugezeho bityo bikamworohera na we kukubwira byose atishisha.

5. Garagaza ubushake bwo kugumana na we (simvuga kugumana na we mwicaranye mu gashyamba)!

Hejuru yo kuba mukundana urukundo rutuje, kumarana igihe kinini mukundana bigaburira neza imishinga yanyu, bituma muhora muhuriza inyungu zanyu ahantu hamwe (nta wihagararaho ngo yange kuva ku izima), ndetse biranaborohera guhangana n’inzitizi muhura na zo kuko muba mufatanyije. Kumarana igihe rero byubaka icyizere gikomeye kuko buri wese aba abona undi amufitiye akamaro kanini, kandi burya umubano umaze igihe biragoye ko bamwe baba babafitiye amashyari babasha kuwusenya biboroheye.

6. Jya ugerageza kugira ibitekerezo bishya mu mubano wanyu

Kugira ngo wirinde imitego yo kuba mu buzima bumwe (routine), kora uko ushoboye nka nyuma y’igihe runaka ugire agashya wazana mu mubano wanyu kandi ntugatinye kumutungura (surprise). Aha ntimukumve ko surprises ari ukuzimya amatara ukaririmba « joyeux anniversaire » gusa! ushobora gutunguza mugenzi wawe utuntu twinshi kandi duto ariko tukamushimisha cyane ku buryo bifasha kumarana igihe kinini mukundana.

Niba ubishoboye jya ugerageza kumusetsa (simvuga kumukirigita nubwo na byo haba igihe cyabyo), mbese uhorane imvugo ituma umuntu ahora yishimye, ujye umuha uduparu rimwe na rimwe ariko atari buri saha, agomba kujya abikumbura akaba ari bwo ubikora, kandi nko mu bihe byanyu byiza ujye umenya ibyo yifuza kandi ubyubahe ntushake gushyira imbaraga mu bintu kandi atabishaka.

7. Ntugatinye gufashwa

Burya inshuti zose ziba zitandukanye kuko buri wese aza afite amateka yanyuzemo. Kugira ngo rero ubashe kongera kuganira neza nka mbere, wongere wumve wishimiye couple yawe cyangwa ubashe kurenga ibigeragezo, ntutinye rwose kwakira ubufasha bw’inzobere. Rimwe na rimwe inama z’inzobere (nk’abahanga mu bya thérapie) zijya zibasha kuvanaho cyangwa guhindura imyumvire itari myiza abantu baba bafite ku bintu runaka ndetse izo nama zikaba zanafasha kongera kubyutsa urukundo rwanyu iyo rutangiye kugenda munsi y’ibirenge byanyu aho kugira ngo rubagaragare mu maso.

Ndizera neza ku igihe mushoboye kugera kuri ibi byose maze kubabwira, nta kabuza urukundo rwanyu ruzaba rutoshye pe! kandi nibigira icyo bikumarira ntuzatinye kuba wabitangamo ubuhamya kugira ngo bikomeze bifashe n’abandi.